Best/Worst excuse for not buying your beer

[Rosie]

Everyone,

I've been hitting the road a lot more and was wondering what some of the best/worst/weakest excuses you guys have had for not taking your beer...my current classic came after demonstrating a shiny new tap for the owner:

* Sorry, can't help you, your tap is too tall and my wife would never be able to pull a pint from it...

:rolleyes:

Got any gems?

Cheers,

[rudge75]

"Your beer is unfiltered and I don't want to have to clean my lines."

Yeah, I'll never eat at that restaurant again - they may never wash their dishes either!

[BrewerTL]

This might be a little off track...we're a brewpub. We sell macro bottles, so my personal favorite from someone drinking (insert generic macro name here) light is that they simply can't handle the alcohol content of our beer. Keep in mind this usually comes from their mouth as they're ordering yet another shot of Jager or another Irish car bomb. Funny....can't handle beer with a 5.5% ABV but can "handle" the alcohol of multiple shots of liquor.

[MikeRoy]

A pizza shop that had expanded into the unit next door to them decided to build a bar to accompany their small restaurant. Hearing about this I stopped in with an info packet on our brewery and beers. Informed the owner that I would be happy to set up a tasting with him and go over our products when they're ready to put something new on tap. His response, " we already have our beers". So I said" yes, I can see that by your tap handles, but when you're ready to switch one of them out and try something new..." He responds "we've already got our beers". So I asked him about his restaurant menu,whether or not it's standard year around or if they ever offer any daily,weekly seasonal specials? He says of course they do, customers really enjoy the new and exciting twists they put on their menu. I said "great, so just imagine what customers would get if they got to try some new beers from time to time, so when you're ready to put some new beer on tap, please feel free to give me a call and we can go over your options."
He says," but we've already got our beers."

[Michael Murphy]

when I was in Italy someone would say, "hey try this guys beer, he makes it himself" while standing in my bar.... the guy would reply" no thanks, I had a girlfriend who's brother homebrewed and it was awful"...

or the classic Italian excuse not to have a beer, even if i offered it for free, "no thanks I havent eaten"

[GeorgeJ]

"Your beer is unfiltered and I don't want to have to clean my lines."

Yeah, I'll never eat at that restaurant again - they may never wash their dishes either!
haha, that's amazing!!

[lhall]

My favorite has to be, "no thanks, we only sell American beers here". I couldn't resist pointing out that my brewery was two miles away, and definitely American, while the Coors Light and Miller Light he had on tap were owned by "furriners".

[rudge75]

I think our group experiences beg the question:

Are these really the places we want our beer anyways?

Are we that desparate for sales?

My answer to both is usually no. Especially given that my beer might languish on tap, and the next rep through the door to dangle some schwag would get more sales push regardless of the quality of his/her beer.

When he told me he never cleaned his lines, I knew right away I'd never bother to make a sales call to him again. That's just gross.

[kayemkerner]

i can not be alone on this one....

best excuse, "well (scratching head and shaking from overload of coffee and/or green tea), what'll you give us?"

response : "i'll give you the best beer i can make for money."

and then: "I mean, what'll you give us for free. the other guys give us promotions and free kegs and such."

response: "thank you for your time....."

et cetera et cetera.....

[GlacierBrewing]

My favorite has to be, "no thanks, we only sell American beers here". I couldn't resist pointing out that my brewery was two miles away, and definitely American, while the Coors Light and Miller Light he had on tap were owned by "furriners".


Yea, I always get a giggle when people tell me in our tasting room, "I don't drink micros. I only drink domestic beers!" (Usually they puff out their chest at this point). I then get the joy of informing them that most "domestics" have some form of "non-domestic" ownership and, by the way, our beer is made twenty feet away. I saw a great quote once "You don't need a born-on date when your drinking in the nursery!".

Keep fighting the good fight
Dave :D

[jfulton]

Craft brewing in my area of the US brings some of the funniest remarks and skepticism, as this is one of the last frontiers for craft beer: Texas. My restaurant and brewery is in Fort Worth (Cowtown), allbeit in one of the most affluent areas of the city.


The "head of the house" male told his family - after one inquired about ordering one of my beers - "You have to be careful about these brewery places, you never know what they're really doing in there. "

A gentleman told me with a game face and ready to argue, "This beer is too good to be made in that little brewery..." I bit my tongue and walked away and he says, "Yeah, thought so..."

"What do you make in there? Tortillas?!!"

"I don't drink draft beer, there was a 60 minutes special that explained how beer line bacteria can kill you..." :eek: :confused: :mad: THAT'S WHY BEER HAS BEEN THE CHOICE BEVERAGE FOR MILLENIA...IT WON'T KILL YOU!!!

"What do yall brew here...? That DARK beer?!"

"If it's better than Budweiser they'd be brewing it..." Well, they are brewing Bud Select... :D

Aright enough I'm getting depressed...

Figure I'd muster a few laughs...

Jamie :cool:

[tsewong73]

Alright. Let's see if anyone else has heard this little gem. I've actually heard this more than once.

When trying to convince someone to try our Brown Ale, I've heard: "I don't like those ales. I only like beer."

No shit.

[hmois]

My Grandpa used to Homebrew and it was aweful- found out he's Grandpa died 27 years ago when he was 9 years old

[kaiabrew]

I don't like that microbrew stuff. It's too heavy.

My thought: It's not like drinking a 18 pk of Bud won't fill you up!

or

I want 3 on 10 cases......

My Thought GFY!

[MikeRoy]

While doing some cleaning in the brewhouse which is right behind the bar in the pub, a older gentleman in his 70s was looking over the area and equipment and asked me the most unusual question I have ever encountered. " He asked me in all sincerity " is that where you kill the chickens"?

I was so shocked, I had no response (I always have a resonse)... I just walked away...I still think about that one.

[jason.koehler]

We sell a lot of beer at tourist places outside the city. The funny thing is, sometimes the same places that specialize in local products like foods, sake, or wine made by local producers refuse to carry our products. When asked, we've been told things like "Oh no, our customers won't buy it. They only want Japanese beer!"

I remember talking to someone about our brewery once, and they said they wouldn't trust beer from a small brewery because "There's no telling what you put in it!" When I explained that we use the same ingredients as commerical breweries, her reply was "I just don't think anything made by a company with only five employees can be clean!" Oddly enough, she was the owner of a small restaurant that had like 6 employees! :D

[Beer Guy]

It's good to hear that globilisation has extended it's paws into peoples excuses as I have had similar encounters, my fave is the "Nope don't like your beer it's got to much flavour, it's fruity and stuff. Give me a proper beer like*insert Macro here*. You really do have to feel sorry for people like that. Usually you only see them on Jerry Springer or a shonky psudeo current affair show but it's an unfortunate truth that the average person is, well really average.

It makes you sad to think people are content and I mean cow in the slaughter yard content, to just keep on living thier life on repeat, same old stuff at the same old time in the same old environment.

Cheers and sing don't moo beers

[Russell Mock]

Why not Budweiser can get me Laker Tickets.

[MatthewS]

This has happened more than once at my brewpub... ok we are on an island but come on, get a clue.

So the story goes...

Clueless Guest -- "Hello barkeep... Get me a Bud!"

Bartender -- "Well sir, here at (insert awesome brewpub name), we make all our beers fresh right here(pointing behind the bar to our 10 BBL brewhouse)"

Clueless guest -- "I only drink American typically, but how about a
Heineken?"

bartender -- "Sir, as I said, we only sell the beers we produce, we have Pilsner, Amber, IPA, Brown, Stout, etc..."

Clueless guest -- "Oh, you mean you make Sam Adams, that stuff is all so dark and bitter?"

Bartender -- "The door is behind you, turn right at the intersection, I think you will find your bar down there, it's called(insert name of lame bar on Circuit Avenue." (there are plenty to choose from)


Matthew
Brewer
Offshore Ale
Martha's Vineyard

[beauxman]

A slight bit off the original post topic, but relevant for a brewpub:

two young (21-23) guys come into the brewery room, here I am smelling of yeast and hops (and who knows what else), hose in hand, the smell of hops and steam everywhere....and then these genius types say:

"Do you guys sell kegs to go?" .....

I say "yes, we do".....

then they say: "can we get a pony of miller high life?"......

blink-blink-blink....waiting for the punch line......it never came.
-Beaux

[DancingCamel]

"Your beer sucks - this is not Coors Light!" This is a true quote from a guy who ordered several kegs for his son's Bar Mitzvah. Apparently neither father nor son could read and thought "Dancing Camel" was pronounced "Coors". And yes, sadly, they were Americans.

[gruntingfrog]

Bartender -- "The door is behind you, turn right at the intersection, I think you will find your bar down there, it's called(insert name of lame bar on Circuit Avenue." (there are plenty to choose from)


Before you sent him packing, did you at least offer a free sample of the Pilsner? I've found that some people don't know what a Pilsner is, or that Pilsners are very similar to the American Light Lagers that they're used to drinking (by that I mean they're crisp and dry with a light(er) mouthfeel). You may have missed out on a convert.

[MatthewS]

YES. I belive this particular guy did try a sample and I figure he thought to hiimself as he was leaving without saying bye.... FLAVOR SUCKS!!!

[DFusion]

This is off topic, but funny.
A guy once asked me (at a previous brewing gig) if our stout was the bock of our Christmas ale.

[Captain Mullet]

At every beer tasting I get the comment, “What is your lightest beer?”
The reply, “They all weigh the same.”
They continue, “No, no, I meant what is your lightest colored beer.”
My reply, “Do you have difficulty with color?”

I do like being a smart ass in the face of ignorance but the truth of the matter is I use it to break the ice and reeducate because we have to be more than just brewers of great beer we also need to teach America the way of craft brewing.

[Gael]

Every festival (and even some tours) we get people asking for our "light" beer. We say "we don't make light beer."
They say, "well, your lightest, then"
"Do you mean mildest or palest beer? Do you like bitter beers, or more malty beers?"
"ummmm. I usually drink (insert crap here)"
"Well, we don't make lagers, but you might like our Irish Ale, it's quite mild and will go nicely with that hotdog you're eating."


My favourite trick, actually, is to make Coors Lite girls sample our stout - I tell them it's my own favourite (which only works sometimes) and I make them shut their eyes while they taste, so they don't see how dark it is. Amazingly, it works 9 times out of 10. The tenth one literally spits it out - on my floor, on the booth, whatever - and says loudly "Yuck, that's not beer!".

For Coors Lite guys I just tell them how manly it is to drink Stout, and that no real man drinks lite beer. It doesn't usually work, but it makes me feel better.

And I too have gotten the homebrew line. Or the variation: "Is this homebrew?" (as they stand in the brewery, which is on our farm). My response is "well, I do live here, but this is a professional brewery."

As an addendum - I've also had guys walk in, look at the tanks, and ask if they can make beer here. I usually say sure, then tell them the cost of a batch... tee hee.

[AlexisScarlett]

"Make Coors Lite girls shut their eyes while they taste, so they don't see how dark it is."--
Brilliant! No visual prejuidice. Maybe a blindfold so they don't cheat, course I guess they are already going through life blind.

I do like being a smart ass in the face of ignorance but the truth of the matter is I use it to break the ice and reeducate because we have to be more than just brewers of great beer we also need to teach America the way of craft brewing.
One I never got over yet: Nice enough looking man of average age and not dressed funny, all buttoned up, and not drooling responded rapidly to the phrase "craft brewing" by asking if I meant like witchcraft or black magic.
I looked around to figure out who put this guy up to this-- but no! He meant it! I stood there regreting wearing black that day and damn my celtic dragon earrings. Could not think of anything intelligent or smartass to say. I was struck silent. Still am

I also learned in the rest of his conversation that a red headed woman is the consort of the devil.
Yeha! And I thought we were just friends

[Straub]

We have a feature called the Eternal Tap where anyone of age can come into the brewery and pour themselves a few beers and hang out during operating hours. Its usually a fairly popular spot and has been around for over a century.

Last year, before we came out with Peter Straub Special Dark, a middle aged man was asking all kinds of questions and complimenting me on how nice the brewery was and how impressed he was with 135 years of family brewing.

However, he did not have a beer. I asked him why he had not poured himself a beer. He responded, "O no thanks, I only drink ales & dark lagers." I responded by saying its free, you're welcome to just try it. He again declined.

So there's a story of someone thinking our beer was somehow "below their level."

[Brewtopian]

My favorite has to be, "no thanks, we only sell American beers here". I couldn't resist pointing out that my brewery was two miles away, and definitely American, while the Coors Light and Miller Light he had on tap were owned by "furriners".

I've been to TN, its a total wasteland when it comes to beer choices. If it ain't a Bud product preferably a light Bud product it ain't offered.

[Brewtopian]

I'm a big fan of the blindfoled tasting, sort of like the Pepsi challenge. People are intimidated by the color of beer and automatically assume that the darker a beer the more bitter or alien to their palette it will be. I would think some sort of tasting contest with prizes could be beneficial in both overcoming this bias as well as creating a marketing opportunity for the brewer/brand. Imagine a Saturday afternoon where you have 2 dozen people signed up to do a competitive tasting with the winner winning some sort of prize. Sounds like fun.

[DancingCamel]

We do play a game with certain groups that come into the brewery called Blind Man's Bluff. We will walk them through a tasting of all our beers, pointing out different aromas and flavor profiles. Then we actually blindfold them (we have these black blindfolds that look like the kind used at a firing squad - makes for a nice group picture) and will give each person one beer to identify. Besides for our beers we will usually throw in a Carlsberg or Goldstar depending on what people say they usually drink. Most will identify the beer correctly since we just walked them through an organized tasting but it forces people to concentrate on what their noses and pallets are saying. It's fun stuff and I'd like to think those 10-12 people just learned something important about craft-brewed beer.

Saving the World - 1 Pint at a Time.

David
Dancing Camel Brewing Co., Ltd.
Tel Aviv

[JoeV]

A guy said this to me at our first restaurant account. We had a lager and brown ale on tap. After the guy had drank ohh I dunno maybey 10 pints of lager he stumbled over and wanted to try a brown ale. Advised me that we should make our beers taste different. The other good one from a bar tender.."this stuff is pretty good but it isn't going to win any awards"

[Steffan]

Believe it or don't! This guy said he can't have a dozen little breweries always hanging around waiting for him to write a check when they deliver. Get myself a MAJOR distributor, and he'll deal. He's a busy man, dontcha know, his time is valuable. He's got three other restaurants and a couple of C-stores to manage. Yeah, like my time is worthless and I'm not busy, right? Well then, what do the first four letters of "business" mean, anyway? Correct me if I am wrong, but doesn't that mean if I am in business, then I'm always busy? It's busy-ness, man!

Steffan
Steffan's Aldergrove Brewery
www.aldergrovebrewery.com

[beauxman]

Believe it or don't! This guy said he can't have a dozen little breweries always hanging around waiting for him to write a check when they deliver.

I believe it, I have heard that one myself. Talk about lazy!
-Beaux